The Dreadful Wizard of Waaagh!
by Wintermute-CZ
Summary: What would happen if Dorothy was an Ork? And how would she deal with the challenges of a fairy tail world with a slight 40K touch? A short story about the beginning of a great journey.


There once was an Ork named Do'rotz, who lived on a dusty, boring, yet peaceful (by Ork standards anyway, so there were at worst a few wars per day) planet Kanzasz. He didn't have many friends (again, Ork standards, so I'm not sure anyone was even bothered with such a puny, humany concepts like friendship), but he had a great relationship with Busta the Squig. Great of course means he didn't eat Busta at first sight and didn't even have an intention to do so in the near future.

One day, while raiding some unimportant village, a warp storm struck and caught both Do'rotz and his trusty Squig by surprise. Both tried to hide in a random house, but were knocked unconscious. After some appropriate time (Do'rotz was kind of tired, so he thought a few minutes of sleep wouldn't hurt) they got up and what they saw almost literally blew their minds.

Do'rotz, who was used to bloody, spiky, metal buildings and tents on his homeworld now saw some small, colorful shacks from organic material and even a few structures that, he thought, looked like giant flowers. Or at least he would think so, if he knew what flowers were or was at least a bit of a thinking type. However even Do'rotz noticed something was wrong and so his first words in the new world were: "I'z a feeling we ain't on Kanzasz anymore." Like any other person would be in his situation, he was so stunned, that he didn't even notice the body under his huge steel boot. But someone else did.

Do'rotz suddenly saw a bunch of stars, as he was hit by a hand in a pretty heavy glove. Still completely frazzled by the new environment, he did a very un-orky thing and didn't try to kill the mysterious attacker (the other option is that it was a reeeally hard hit). Instead he just turned around and there she was, a beautiful, but scary (if Orks would even know these words) woman figure was standing beside him. And while Do'rotz wasn't exactly a midget himself, she was still taller than him. Without even slight intention of greeting our hero, or explaining anything she said: "Would you kindly move your foot? That's the Wicked Inquisitor of The East you are standing on." Naturally, Do'rotz had absolutely no clue what this supposed "eenkvezeetor" was, so he figured, that the best course of action would be just to stand there with a dull look on his face.

The woman, correctly reading the situation stopped bothering with any attempts to remove Do'rotz from the inquisitor and instead just asked: "And what exactly are you doing here?" Do'rotz, surprisingly remembering why he was confused in the first place answered her question with one of his own: "Howz can I get 'oum?" "Look, I have no idea where your home is. And I have a feeling I don't want to be the one figuring it out," she said, "but I know someone who has a lot of patience and free time, so he might be able to help you. Go to the Imperial City and ask for the Great Wizard, would that be alright?" Looking at the body still under Do'rotz's foot, she added: "And you might want to take his boots, they look very expensive, it would be a waste..." And not even finishing her sentence, she was already stealing the belongings of the corpse. Any reasonable person, who was dealing with Orks before, would think that talking about fashion to an Ork would be a dumb idea to say the least. But not a single thing was normal for the past few moments for any people present (dead or alive), so in the end Do'rotz not only took the boots, but they even fit! Followed by a brief awkward silence, some explaining, showing some signs and pointing the way, all of which wasn't met with desirable outcome, the lady finally lost her temper, grabbed Do'rotz, turned him and gave him a not so slight push. And thus began Do'rotz's great journey, stumbling forward and still not knowing what exactly was going on.

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><p><em> Written as a school assignment for an English lesson (the theme was fairy tales). It was written by a 16 year old myself, so it's in no way lore accurate, or well thought out (it's being published without any changes), so just take it as a fun story. Seeing as I'm constantly remembering it for the past few years, I decided to publish it and start working on a longer and all around better version of the story. So this isn't the last time you've heard of Do'rotz. <em>


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